Buttered Bread On The Back of a Cat : Which Side Falls First ?
Just think: When you drop a cat from a height of a few feet, it lands upright.
Also think: When you drop a piece of buttered bread, it lands with the buttered
side down
Now think: If you strapped a piece of buttered bread to the back of a cat,
which would land first.
First the source of the forces must be understood. The force acting on the
bread is not the butter, as some may think. Without the bread, butter wouldn't
land bread side up, and therefore the force could not possibly be in the butter.
We know the force is not the bread because it has been experimentally proven
that bread does not land any particular side down without butter. The
bread/butter force is caused by the fusing of bread and butter particles
together. This fusion causes energy to be released in the form of shifting
gravity and anti-gravity energy to opposite sides of the bread/butter continuum.
The gravity energy naturally shifts to the butter since it is denser then the
bread, while the anti-gravity energy shifts to the bread side.
The energy in a cat for landing on its feet comes from the feet themselves.
This has been proven experimentally. Cats without feet have a near zero success
rate of landing on their feet. We will call this energy cat foot energy.
Considering the equal but opposing bread/butter and cat foot forces one would
expect the cat to spin violently about its axis. However the strength of these
forces must be considered. A regular cat is not structurally stable enough to
withstand the torque the spinning causes. I should not have to describe the way
the cat's limbs give way, the way the legs wrench around until the feet are on
the same side of the cat as the butter. And thus the cat can then land on its
feet, butter side down.
I am now researching the possibility of using structurally reinforced cats for
levitation systems, but so far the cost is too high to be practical. Several
attempts at producing economically viable systems were made by separating the
feet so that the instability of the cat would not be a factor. At first there
was dificulty because there was no cat to tie the bread to. Later it was
discovered that when not attached to a cat the feet lost their cat foot force
over time. It is hypothesized that the feet need
to be living to exert the cat foot force, and so far no practical method has
been found for keeping the feet alive other than a cat.
I've heard that attempts are also being made to breed flat cats with no legs
(only feet).
There are many other problems related with this method of levitation as you may
well imagine, but as far as I'm concerned, they are beyond the scope of this
discussion.
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